Someone said to me the other day “You’re too much! ” and went on to say how I’ve always got a story or a joke and how did I manage my crazy life anyways? I think they were trying to judge me though they disguised it as a thinly veiled compliment.
I have known for quite some time that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.
I live at a very fast pace. I love the challenge of fitting 28 hours into 24. It’s my lust for trying everything I’ve ever wanted to that fuels this pace. I have been informed by various tragedies in my life that time indeed does not wait for anyone. And I refuse to live a life in the safe zone just because I’m scared sometimes. This makes for some very interesting misunderstandings with the public at large who consider my frenetic pace to be almost offensive as if I’m doing it just to make everyone else look bad. Or look good, depending on your point of view.
I am a spazz sometimes. Self admittedly, I get ahead of myself jumping straight to the fun stuff a lot of the time. I truly believe that if it isn’t any fun, then it likely isn’t going to get a lot of my attention. Now this is where I often get mistaken for the cricket who played around so much in summer that he had to depend on everyone else to feed him in the winter – but you would be wrong. I am a decidedly very responsible person. I pay my bills and I feed my kin. I also spend most of my disposable income on exercise equipment, movies, dinners out, random sparkly things and books, lots of books. I have a reasonable cache of RSPs thanks to my job but overall I am not much of the saving kind. I love living. I love the joy of buying a fantastic pair of shoes (usually running shoes) and I love participating in everything I have ever wanted to try. I travel – though any financial advisor would tell you that this is the last thing i should be doing with what little I have left after I manage a house of 5. I use my credit. I press buttons on all the singing toys in Wal Mart so they sing me off. Yep, I am that guy.
I have learned something, I decide how my life rolls out. Even if people intersect my life in a negative way, I still decide to pick up and move on. Sometimes I sit in my pajamas and wipe my nose on them while I cry and eat chocolate. For a little while. I am human. But let’s say that again…I am human. I have endless possibilities of things to try and things to be. If you ask people who knew me 20 years ago, they wouldn’t recognize me. And I hope in 20 more years, those people will wonder all over again just who I have become. And I’m sure some of them won’t like me very much. I consider that a life well lived. : )
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